Windrose Diaries I: Transitus


“I have always known that at last

I would take this road,

but yesterday

I did not know that it would be


Ariwara no Narihira

(在原業平, 825 – July 9, 880)



Standing on the cusp between worlds, I muse upon the steps which brought me to this place where my silken slippers edge the precipice. There are many such crossings in life. Some are expected and others come without warning though they are expected. There are crossings which are made easy by a sturdy bridge, a watertight boat or the secure hand of a dear friend. There are also those for which we must simply close our eyes and step out into thin air trusting that when the eyes open again, something capable of carrying our weight will be felt beneath trembling feet. Those are the ones for which wings were made.

I have been gathering feathers and pasting them together with dewdrops still aglow with the memory of starlight with the hope that they will suffice for flight in case the earth fails to greet me with a gentle touch.

It is a treasure to walk through the days as one who knows that the end is nigh. There is a richness to each object so easily overlooked before. The customary circuit of counted steps are like unto a dance of memory. The library with its countless volumes breathe for me their ancient, learned breaths while I let my hand brush over their spines of gilded lettering. Sometimes I feel like I am unmoving in an eternal tableau like a lady-in-waiting for the great Queen called Time to make her expected entrance, the others rushing to and fro with the second hand unknowing of the pageant of the moment frozen in time which will be keep in the vitrine of sweet memories for myself alone.


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